“But first, coffee”

I made a sign for the kitchen today.

I made a sign because my therapist says I should try to find peace, and peace is slippery and elusive. I’m always chasing it around, but I just can’t catch it.

So I woke up today, and I said, “My goal is peace,” and I made a sign. I made the kind of sign you find at TJ Maxx for $12, slip into your cart full of other self esteem-boosting garbage, and buy. Then you place it gingerly on your shelf at home and think, “Look at me; I’ve made something.”

(But you haven’t, because the self esteem-boosting garbage builds into a mountain of debt, and you’re crushed by the weight of it, and still more self-esteem boosters crawl out of the dank hole of internet advertisements and wrap themselves around you, gorgeous bourgeois boa constrictors, and you suffocate peacefully, buried underneath them in the lamp aisle at your nearest Home Goods.)

But I thought, “What will bring me peace?” and I thought, “to draw and color,” and I thought, “I’ll make a sign.” So I pulled out the markers with the strong fumes, I sat at the table and I drew and colored. I drew and colored over and over again until I got it right. I trimmed it and put it in a frame. I smiled at it, took a picture of it, and sighed.

The sign said “but first, coffee,” with a doodle of a steaming mug of coffee.

Then I spent $57 at Walmart.