movies

Some nights I wakeat midnight and can’t feel myself.I don’t know where my breath stems or where it ends.For hours, this way:Huffing, puffing, sighing,Flitting in and out of dreams of plane crashes–Where, dancing in my mind’s eyeis some kind of senseless tragedyEvery night.The only kind of movie my brain makes–The kind that leaves meFull of…

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That’s My Band. And We’re Fucking Awesome.

We played to a giant, empty room last night, where great pillars of wood swallowed up the sounds of four hands clapping. It’s not an easy thing, this music business, but you keep on doing it–watching the crowd thin out, telling yourself you’ll play for the love of it and sing for the heart of…

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Things I Want to Tell You: A Public Service Announcement

I want to tell you why I’m not dieting anymore. I want to tell you, but I am afraid. I want to tell you, in joy, about the rolls that have come back to my arms, the measuring cups and spoons gathering dust in the drawer, the scale gathering dust in the linen closet–but I…

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Notre Dame is burning

Once, man built mountainsof wood and stoneand glassto obscure the light of God from the people,and these mountains loomed, in gaping majesty,to remind us of our basic lack. But in the present, post apocalypse, God is here.And he sets upon our towers of tinder, engulfed in flame.Upon rooftops–Once out of reach of peasants,now out of…

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“But first, coffee”

I made a sign for the kitchen today. I made a sign because my therapist says I should try to find peace, and peace is slippery and elusive. I’m always chasing it around, but I just can’t catch it. So I woke up today, and I said, “My goal is peace,” and I made a…

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the second loss

The anniversary can pass unnoticed, but the body remembers. The pall is cast over sunny days. The chest is tight at the sight of sun on bare trees, the smell of bulbs bursting under cold earth. Somehow the anniversary escaped you, but the grief exploded within, shadows dancing in the mind’s eye–church basements, rehearsing songs…

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